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Falling Back on What I Know

This is what life looks like lately. There are are worse ways to spend my time.

A spectacular wipeout on black ice – not 10 feet from our front door –- set me off on a slower start to 2026 than I’d anticipated. 

After spending 2024 rehabbing a genetic (I think) sacroiliac (SI) injury that has plagued me since I was 16, I went full-tilt in 2025 doing the active things I love: ran the Syracuse Half Marathon again, waded into the murky waters of Onondaga County’s Jamesville Reservoir for open-water swim practice, churned my way 1.2 miles through the even murkier waters of Sandusky Bay as part of a relay team in the Ohio 70.3 triathlon, had a blast hiking a 20-mile Mammoth March with dear friends, wandered in Lapland with my childhood bestie and wobbled 25 miles on a new road bike that had spent 2024 gathering dust as my SI joint healed. 

Then in December, I fractured two vertebrae thanks to arena-slick ice lurking in our driveway under a half-inch of Central New York’s trademark lake-effect snow. There went the four races I’d signed up for in 2026. There went winter spin classes on the bike. There went an aggressive winter swim plan and my twice-weekly gym workouts. And both my part-time jobs.

And part of my retirement identity. I was the one who just turned 70 and never stopped moving. 

Yes, it is temporary. People suffer much worse and more painful setbacks so whining is, perhaps, undue. But at this age, putting life on hold for 12 weeks feels like losing a significant chunk of whatever good time is left to me. My self-diagnosed attention deficit struggles with being still. 

Within two days of my injury, books started piling up – some loaners, some gifts. My family and friends offered a long list of titles they had loved. By comparison, not a single person suggested a TV show or movie that I should watch to pass the time while my compressed thoracic vertebrae (T2 and T6 for the orthopedically minded among my readers) took their sweet time healing. My people know me well. 

Then my friend Hattie made a suggestion that was one of the kindest compliments I’ve ever received: “Do what you do best. Write.” Thanks, Hattie!

So here I am. It’s time to get thoughts out of my head before it implodes. Writing my way out of confusion, anger and boredom is a habit that’s been with me as long as my SI joint has been a problem. I’ll inflict my words here on whomever cares to read them. If I’m brave enough, I’ll follow the advice of one of my sheroes, writer Anne Lamott:  “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” 

So, my project for 2026 is to shove some life into this blog. I am putting my intention here to hold myself accountable. 

Happy New Year, all. And avoid black ice!

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The spirit of the season

I’m the one at the top of the stairs in the reflective vest. That’s my friend and cemetery guide behind me, wondering what the heck I’m up to.

There was an evening in October a few years ago that was going to be fun no matter what. Fun is what happens when a half-dozen women who aren’t as young as they used to be dress up as zombies a few days before Halloween and go for a nighttime run in a cemetery that dates to the Civil War.

My running friends are prone to silly adventures. But, for me at least, that night was more eventful.

A lot of history and many stories reside in Syracuse’s Oakwood Cemetery. A former city mayor is buried there. So is a 14-year-old boy whose grieving family marked his resting place with a bronze statue of a lion. There is a person named Clemons, whose grave I encountered the day I took a lunchtime walk looking for a way to process the grief that all Bruce Springsteen fans felt after the death of his famous sidekick, E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons. There is a man with the same surname as the best boss I ever had; I once snapped a photo of his headstone so my staff and I could torment the boss with it later.

Popular wisdom also says Oakwood Cemetery is haunted. I’ll get to that.

The night of our run, the six of us, complete with white face makeup and blinking skeleton necklaces (and, yes, reflective vests for safety’s sake), ran a few blocks through the city from one friend’s house and slipped into a secondary entrance to the sprawling old cemetery. Our university professor friend was our guide, pointing out historic headstones and mausoleums and sharing the stories behind them. We admired some architecture and learned some history, then paused on one of the curving, crumbling asphalt roads at the base of a small rise. I don’t know why I did it, but I told my friends, “I want to see who’s buried up there.” I ran up a path that led to a cluster of headstones. I stepped in front of them and looked at the one that had caught my attention.

Her name was CLAIRE. Spelled like mine.

I couldn’t hear my boisterous friends talking. I couldn’t hear the traffic a block way. I didn’t feel the nip of a Central New York evening in late October. I was only aware of Claire. I stared at her grave, ignoring the headstones on either side of it, waiting for whatever I was going to feel. It seemed like a moment for some Dickensian fear, like the whole Ghost-of-Christmas-Yet-to-Come thing might send me screaming back to the safety of my pack.

But that didn’t happen. My heart rate slowed, and I nodded slightly at the grave.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I finally said. “Thank you for saying hello. I hope you rest in peace.”

I trotted down to my friends, who were getting agitated about losing sight of me in a dark cemetery that has frequently been the site of minor criminal activity. They wanted to know what I’d been doing up there.

“I wanted to see that grave. It’s a woman named Claire. I think she wanted to say hello,” I told them.

There was some breathless disbelief from my companions who were full of questions, but I wanted to preserve my peaceful moment a little longer. I sprinted ahead of them, and they were gabbing about something else by the time they caught me.

People with knowledge of such things have reported signs of paranormal activity at Oakwood. The cemetery has been featured on hauntedhouses.com, and the local historic association sponsors ghost walks there. “Restive spirits,” they say. But there was nothing restive about my encounter with my Claire sister. It was gentle and peaceful. I was safe. My friends were nearby. And maybe a new friend was closer than I knew.

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I just heard…

One of the best things about being a writer is that it fits neatly with my Nancy Drew-inspired ability to overhear other people’s conversations without trying. I appear harmless. People say things when I’m nearby. I absorb those things and file them away in the weird catchall, file cabinet of a memory that is common among writers and editors. 

Sometimes, these spoken words stick in my head and the only way to keep them from chewing holes in my brain is to share them. In chronological order, here are three recent favorites.

During my walk with Goose the rescue mutt on a sunny morning many months after Joe Biden was sworn in as president: Two older (than me!) ladies are chatting on a porch. One says, “Well, Trump needs these people. They have GOT to be on his side if he’s going to overthrow the government.” 

At a gathering in a predominantly white suburb; the conversation turns to the city of Syracuse, 25 minutes away, where I worked and drove home at all hours of the day and night for 35 years, where a couple of our children live, and where we still enjoy dinners out and an array of events: “Well, you’re not going to go to downtown Syracuse without a gun.”

In a public facility in Central New York: A helpful staff member responds to a senior citizen’s question about federal incentives for energy efficiency. The staffer advises, “Be aware that all these federal programs could be suspended if we default on the debt.” 

Patron: “Hmmph. More spending. That’s New York for you.”

Helper: “No, that’s House Republicans.”

Patron: “Hmmm…”

Here’s to being treasonous, fearful and uninformed.

Image by Freepik