Let’s hear it for the girls

My best friend from childhood, Mary, was on a weekend trip with her best friends from high school when she heard about the death of her best friend from college.

Mary and Julia were the dream team of first-year roommates – instant friends with a bond that lasted 40 years until Julia’s way-too-early death. The devastating news came from a family member who reached Mary during a reunion with her high school friends.

Shortly after she got the call, Mary ducked out from activities with the reunion buddies and texted me. I called her and offered what condolences I could, frustrated with my limited ability to do anything to help heal her aching heart.

Before the day was out, I called my own best friend from college – just because. Talking to her that day was like patting my pocket to make sure my wallet was still there. Like Mary and Julia, Kim and I were friends from the day we moved into our college dorm. Kim and Mary were in my wedding. They danced at my daughter’s wedding reception. Julia and I were in Mary’s wedding. Kim and Julia met when Mary and I were on one of our occasional road trips.

Talk about a web of friendships.

This is what we celebrate Feb. 13, Galentine’s Day – the unexpected phone calls and the ones preceded by a text that says, “Can you talk?”  or “I’ve been thinking about you. Are you OK?” We see acquaintances that started during a shared school bus ride or in a crammed dorm room – or a cluttered office or a beery backyard barbecue or a gasp-inducing workout – and realize they’ve transformed into the scaffolds that support us. We see cracks and mended places where we added new friends that have become as necessary to our well-being as woolen hats in a Central New York winter. We see where a friendship took a break for mysterious reasons and years later regained its energy when we realize the things we had in common transcended our youth.

These are the women who show up with a meal or a bottle of wine, a book or fuzzy socks, a phone call or the perfect meme at the right time. The ones who know better than to ask, “Do you need help?” They see the answer. And they know what to do about it.

So, here’s to the gals on this Galentine’s Day! My thanks and love to all of you!

Image by pikisuperstar on Freepik